Congruency: A Myth

Congruency – A word that is on its extinction, not as a word but as a practice….it’s nothing but a single word description for a phrase called Talk the Walk….”Saying what we do…Doing what we say”…to put it simply…


But the million dollar question is – “is it so difficult to be congruent?” and what stops us to follow congruency in everything we do in our daily lives.


For example – we promise our children of an outing over the weekend….and we end up not doing it….we promise our spouse of a shopping which doesn’t happen…we promise our colleagues of maintaining integrity with some confidential discussions….and we end up socializing it at the back end….


What do we get if we live a life this way….and how long can we betray our close pals, family members,
colleagues, teams and the world itself as a whole…am sure we are more at a disadvantage than any benefit out of this exercise…


Just think the effect of such behavior on our world around us…and imagine the way the world would treat us
back….worse?? if not immediately, but as they say what goes around comes around….we will have our share of embarrassment, humiliation and all such effects when someone behaves the same way…by not being congruent with his words and actions towards us.


Friends and family members may forgive us for what we say and do….but just imagine….are we sure that we will be spared even at our workplace?? As I told, we might not see an immediate reaction to our words and actions….but it gets accumulated and consolidated at one corner of the hearts of the people who are watching us over a period of time….


The questions that bug my mind are – “why do we do this”, “whom are we doing this for”, “who is benefitted out of this”, “what happens to our character”….and so on….


I feel that this behavior is inherited from the people who are our superiors….we take them as examples; we feel that if they can do this, why can’t I do it? And this is a chain reaction and a vicious circle which never ends. Some or other becomes a victim day in and day out… All this happens due to our lust for growth and prosperity


All those people whom we try to emulate in this matter are not good examples of positive leadership and this will have a negative impact on how are we perceived as an organization within the organization. Sometimes, it might also happen that people on the top tend to ignore such behaviors unless they become the victims and end up using this to their benefit under the camouflage of business strategy.


It is very important for all of us to be transparent enough in maintaining a congruent culture in our lives.


Leaders on the top play a very crucial and vital role in cascading a congruent culture across the business. If leaders want to know what is going on the floor…they should do that themselves rather than heeding to the appointed spies as they could manipulate the information and our leaders are very good at making perceptions just by going on the feedback given by the respective managers or colleagues which might not be true to a great extent. This leads to a phenomenon called mislabeling of a worthy workforce. If we don’t work for our mislabeled subordinates, then we know nothing of leadership. We know only tyranny. Leadership is a potent combination of strategy and character. But if we must be without one, let’s be without the strategy.


Before we exhibit congruency to the outside world, let’s promise ourselves to be congruent with our inner self at least to give a worthy start for a more meaningful life for ourselves and for others around us.

Sathyameva Jayathe...!!!

Sathyameva Jayathe…

One of the most novel and meaningful concept to bring to the light many hidden truths of beaten up lives in the
society around us.

The first episode aired on 6th May was an eye opener for most of the state governments, authorities, common
man and most importantly to the Educated Illiterates…

It was all about female feticide happening in the country and it was shocking that the girl baby killing was
preferred mostly by the educated yet uncivilized people who hold the white collar jobs in the society with
name, fame and status. What the F***ng civilization is this who lost their conscious about the basic ethics and
importance of a human life.

The participants of the show revealed that the doctors who are considered to be the demi gods are the ones who
encourage female feticide where they announce a package to the visiting patients…that abortion is free if you get
the ultra sound test done…Where are we living, what are we doing…no one cares or bothers…they just turn a
blind eye, deaf ears….

What are the politicians for, what is government for?? Why don’t they bother about such a pathetic situation in
the country??

I know the answer…because all the babies who get killed in the mother’s womb do not have a voting right…else
they should have got a very good support from all political parties and it would have been discussed even in the
parliament for a law…and am sure this law would have come into force even before the so called Lokpal.

And the journalists who are still roaming around different courts of Rajasthan seeking conviction for all those
doctors who were caught in their sting operation even after 10 years of the said operation. The worst part is that
these journalists get arrest warrants from the police department for not being present for the court proceedings…

What wrong have these journalists done and what is their fate? No one knows.

One lady in the show revealed that we need to learn from the Adi Vasi families who come for the doctor
consultation, it seems they don’t ask for the gender of the child and they are happy irrespective of the gender of
the child. Everyone says that adivasis are uncivilized and we, the modern age people are civilized…what kind of a
civilization is this??

Kudos to Aamir Khan for taking up such a great show, but the critic in me is still wondering if there is any political
agenda behind this show?? As they say Sathyameva Jayathe…truth prevails and am sure it will reveal the
agenda if any…!!!

What is Important???

What is Important?

The prevailing scenario in today’s professional group around the world is that they have to run the race in the most fast paced environment without stopping, else they would be left behind. Gone are the days where companies used to hire people….these days they only hire machines which don’t recognize the need for human emotions, feelings, morals and ethics in the quest for excellence and success. With this, there arises a challenge…!!!

Most of the current generation professionals face a common challenge due to which they are bound to choose either to be a human or to be a professional. What is important? Being Human or Being Professional

Post a thoughtful debate of several hours with my inner self…I have come to a conclusion that reason for this is addiction to SUCCESS. This seven letter word drives people crazy and they would do anything under the sun to achieve success and this syndrome is generally the derivation of the human greed which creeps in over a period of time when people get used to this so called sedative SUCCESS.

No matter what they do is right or wrong, no matter what they do is ethical or not, no matter who gets impacted due to their acts and decisions…all that they need is SUCCESS.

The amazing fact is that this generally happens with people who are rich by their qualification and / or position who set an example in their respective organizations without being thoughtful or aware of its ill effects on the upcoming generations of human machines.

The reason I termed humans as machines is that most of the working professionals of today are programmed to behave in a way that pleases their bosses, super bosses and throw a syntax error while dealing with their peers or subordinates. And the irony is that these people can stoop down to any levels for reaching the highest of the designations and success. There is an exception group who doesn’t fall into this category and are generally looked as aliens or UFOs (Unidentified Foreign Objects)

What kind of a success is this without fulfillment? How long can you be contented without getting carried away in the lust for more and more sedative doses of success?? At the end of the day, even if you win in this race, you will still be a rat and no one any longer believes you that you are a human being…the species at its extinction.

What if your designation is pulled out of your name and what if your position is no more in force?

This is the situation where each individual should visualize himself and come up with some honest answers to the craziest questions, not for the world around him but for his inner self. Some people are too proud of themselves without noticing that others can't reach them anymore. We should always keep our feet on the ground because we don't know how far can we go and would anyone be ready to catch us once we fall.

I believe that being human should be the measure for anyone’s success rather than any other traits that we as business leaders portray…however, most people feel the need to flow with the current…yet there is a scope for including human emotions, feelings, morals and ethics in each and everything that we do in our daily lives.

Story of a Silk Worm…!!!

Vinay, a successful banking professional for over 15 years planned to take his time off for 2 days to pay a visit to his grandparents at his hometown even before he takes off for a job overseas. He informed about his plan and was excited to have a reunion with his childhood friends, relatives and family members.
As a contrast, there was no warm welcome from his friends, relatives and the villagers since no one could recognize him after he left the village for his higher education.
But he was lucky enough to receive love and warmth from his grandparents. As usual, Vinay took out his planner for 2 days as he is always used to do in his job and visited all those places like his first school, the farming land, and the village temple and so on.
He did what all he wanted to do in those 2 days but still he didn’t seem to be happy…Vinay was lost in deep thought and started taking a walk around the village since he was not able to sleep….
Vinay’s grandfather was watching him silently and went up to him asking as to what was worrying him?? With a heart of discontent, he revealed that he was not finding fulfillment even after a successful banking career…and then continued…When I had to move from my current role for a new assignment…most of my office colleagues didn’t turn up for my farewell party which I hosted…I was known to be a good task manager and a good business leader….which everyone around me respected for….
Grandpa smiled and even before Vinay could say anything…Grandpa raised a disclaimer that Vinay would listen to him without any questions…Then the grandpa started telling him a story of a silkworm….
Silkworm is a busy insect always wanting to be successful in building of its own cocoon. It takes over 2 months of time to complete one cocoon. Mulberry leaves is the only food that the worm takes in which helps for maintaining a good level of water content in its body….however, the water levels outgrow the size of the worm that it is forced to release out in the form of saliva. This saliva is a thread like substance which is white in color, soft and shining. This thread is nothing but the silk material which the mankind uses. The worm is very happy to build the cocoon around it and is so contended that it does not have to bother or worry about the outside world anymore…The thread is used by the worm to build its cocoon and it resembles a thread bobbin. Post the cocoon is formed, in another 2 weeks of time, the worm transforms into a moth. The moth in order to come out of its own cocoon has to make holes in the silk thread. All this process is closely monitored by the horticulture farmers…and even before the moth can break the cocoon….all cocoons would be collected and are soaked in boiling water….which actually is out of imagination of the worm…
The happiest worm in the world now starts to realize the hot water which is peeping in from the small holes of the cocoon….and within no time….the worm dies due to terrible heat….
After this…the cocoons are collected and are unrolled on a winding bobbin by catching its one end of the thread….which unveils the dead worm which forms the food for eagles and birds..
Grandpa sighs that this is the end of the story…and inquired if Vinay had any questions…
Vinay felt very sad about the silkworm and went blank in his mind for a while….and seemed to his grandpa that he had a lot of questions…as to why the worm had to die….what harm has it done to anyone etc...
Then grandpa slowly whispered….”Silkworm never lived for others”…
All it wanted was a safe cocoon….to be happy on its own without any connection to the outside world.
You did the same thing…you always wanted to be successful but all alone…in your quest for personal excellence, you never took a break for a while to get connected to your childhood friends, relatives and the villagers. So is the case with your colleagues at office. You are successful but you are disconnected…and it came as a shocker to Vinay.
He asked his grandpa as to what can he do to revive this feeling and start living a contented life….The answer was – “Helping others to achieve their dreams would give more happiness than achieving your own dreams”. For this, you need not give your money; you need not put your efforts for them….but
You need to lend your time, because Time is the precious gift someone can receive from you…Give time; lend your ears to listen to their dreams, support them morally to achieve success…and share your experiences and knowledge which might help others to take away some learnings to be successful in their endeavors…
Vinay was so relieved and happy that he hugged his grandpa and thanked him for sharing the story of a silkworm. And soon it was the first light of the day….where he had to catch up with his new way of life….
Vinay was happy, rejuvenated and determined for a new way of life….He then started believing….”Only life lived for others is worth living”…

Tension Tension??

The moment you are in tension,
You will lose your attention.
Then you are in total confusion.
And you will feel irritation
Then you’ll spoil personal relation
Ultimately you won’t get co-operation
Then you see things rising to complication
Then your BP may also rise to caution
And you may have to take medication

Instead,

Understand the situation
And try to think about the solution.
Many problems will be solved by discussion
Which will workout better in your profession?
Don’t think it’s a free suggestion,
It’s only for your prevention.
If you understand my intention
You will never again rise up to tension.

Old Habits Should Die

Most of us are slaves to habit and familiarity. It has been observed a wounded animal will return to what is familiar. Because man is also an animal he likes familiarity and in time of trouble will also return to what is familiar. This bit of knowledge is how criminals are tracked down. For instance a white collar criminal who has expensive tastes in cars and fancy restaurants can be easily caught. He will be driving his favorite type of car to his favorite restaurant. A wounded pet will make its way back home. There is a compelling force driving us to old surroundings because these surroundings remind us of how we were or are supposed to be – they are comforting and reassuring. It is no wonder old habits die hard. How do we break away from habit? What is the secret to changing a lifetime of habit? How does one go about changing years of habit? Many people who have had bear death experiences or have had severe trauma in their lives come away with instant change. Their lives are never the same and it is most noticeable by those most familiar with them. Meaningful change does not have to come by hitting yourself over the head with a hammer nor do you have to sign up for courses or college. Change can come fairly easily, in simple steps, which are subtle and for the most part unnoticeable.
Before change can come there needs to be a desire for change. A complete lifestyle makeover can be accomplished over a period of time without much difficulty. Habit simply means you are doing the same thing over and over again.

Lasting change does not come with making a change, but with commitment to keep changing until it becomes a habit – a habit of change. One of the best times to start your change is first thing in morning. Commit yourself to making at least one tiny change everyday and it doesn’t have to be same change. Try turning your alarm ahead or back 10 minutes. In other words get up at a different time tomorrow morning. Probably, no one will even notice. Try leaving your house 15 minutes early for work one morning or take a different route - you will see new people and different things.

Make small subtle changes which will not upset your life or those around you. Make this your priority every day – to do something different. What you are going to start noticing is how things start changing around you and how people will start to treat you differently. They will notice a change in you and want to know what it is. They will start paying more attention to you and may want to get closer.

Mostly, when you start practicing change for some time, it usually leads to several changes and it lasts the rest of the day. You might find yourself goofing off and returning to old habits, but don’t reprimand yourselves.
Simply notice the changes and make corrections – after all, it is your . With the awareness of changes comes opportunity for changes. As you cultivate your habit of changes, you will begin to make bigger changes and you will start ranging out. Your growth will start to accelerate and you may find yourself in conflict with those around you and who know you the best.

Remember this -- people will not want you to change, they will try to hold you back. It is very important during this process for you to find new friends and people who will support you. There are others who cherish growth and nurture it in others. For the most part your family and friends will not support you.

Have a Situation?? - Be a Hero or a Victim

It is almost 2500 years that Lord Buddha has opined that our life is the creation of our mind. But, this opinion is still holding good and is being reiterated by other disciplines like cognitive psychology, emotional intelligence and etc….

We can be more effective in dealing the situations if we train our minds to be more resilient. There are some set behaviors which determine our character….of a hero or of a victim?
We will call these behaviors as our stories. The stories which we tell ourselves everyday when faced with different situations. And all these stories fall into 3 categories.

We tell ourselves people stories about how others are or are not treating us fairly. When we go into victim mode, we tell ourselves that other people are to blame. They wronged me, they hurt me, and they did this thing to me. And we use that as moral justification for all of our anger. When we’re in hero mode, we look at what pain are they experiencing? What challenges are they facing that might cause them to act this way? It may not excuse the action, but it helps us understand and empathize and respond more effectively to them. That’s our first story.

Our second story is a story we tell about our situations, about whether or not we’re getting what we want, what we deserve, out of life. We tell ourselves when we’re in victim mode that we deserve more—I should have that job, I should have gotten that promotion, I should have that office, I should have those things. When we’re in hero mode, we appreciate what we have. We appreciate and we’re grateful for these things in order to give us energy. We appreciate the best in our lives. And that energy fuels us to help us pursue those things that we do still desire.

And that brings us to our third story, the story that we tell about ourselves. About what we can or cannot do. When we’re in victim mode, we see only what’s impossible, only what can’t be done. When we’re in hero mode, we see what’s possible. And we don’t just see what’s possible, we believe relentlessly that there’s always something that we can do. There has to be some action that I can take to change this situation. And if I search for it, I will find it.

To quote an example, if you work out, what music do you listen to? Mostly the answer would be rock & roll or dance music, hip-hop, something up-tempo, upbeat. And there’s a reason for this. Research shows us that when you listen to up-tempo music during your workout, you actually run faster, run further and you report enjoying your workout more than when you listen to low-tempo music. Well, the stories that you tell yourself are exactly the same. They’re like a soundtrack in the back of your head and they’re playing all day, every day. And they’re either giving you energy, helping you to perform at your best, helping you to be more resilient, to respond more effectively to your challenges, or they’re taking that energy away and bringing you down at those very same moments. Never let yourself be a victim. Never tell the victim stories. Always get into hero mode. Tell yourself the heroic story and give yourself the chance to perform at your best.