Have a Situation?? - Be a Hero or a Victim

It is almost 2500 years that Lord Buddha has opined that our life is the creation of our mind. But, this opinion is still holding good and is being reiterated by other disciplines like cognitive psychology, emotional intelligence and etc….

We can be more effective in dealing the situations if we train our minds to be more resilient. There are some set behaviors which determine our character….of a hero or of a victim?
We will call these behaviors as our stories. The stories which we tell ourselves everyday when faced with different situations. And all these stories fall into 3 categories.

We tell ourselves people stories about how others are or are not treating us fairly. When we go into victim mode, we tell ourselves that other people are to blame. They wronged me, they hurt me, and they did this thing to me. And we use that as moral justification for all of our anger. When we’re in hero mode, we look at what pain are they experiencing? What challenges are they facing that might cause them to act this way? It may not excuse the action, but it helps us understand and empathize and respond more effectively to them. That’s our first story.

Our second story is a story we tell about our situations, about whether or not we’re getting what we want, what we deserve, out of life. We tell ourselves when we’re in victim mode that we deserve more—I should have that job, I should have gotten that promotion, I should have that office, I should have those things. When we’re in hero mode, we appreciate what we have. We appreciate and we’re grateful for these things in order to give us energy. We appreciate the best in our lives. And that energy fuels us to help us pursue those things that we do still desire.

And that brings us to our third story, the story that we tell about ourselves. About what we can or cannot do. When we’re in victim mode, we see only what’s impossible, only what can’t be done. When we’re in hero mode, we see what’s possible. And we don’t just see what’s possible, we believe relentlessly that there’s always something that we can do. There has to be some action that I can take to change this situation. And if I search for it, I will find it.

To quote an example, if you work out, what music do you listen to? Mostly the answer would be rock & roll or dance music, hip-hop, something up-tempo, upbeat. And there’s a reason for this. Research shows us that when you listen to up-tempo music during your workout, you actually run faster, run further and you report enjoying your workout more than when you listen to low-tempo music. Well, the stories that you tell yourself are exactly the same. They’re like a soundtrack in the back of your head and they’re playing all day, every day. And they’re either giving you energy, helping you to perform at your best, helping you to be more resilient, to respond more effectively to your challenges, or they’re taking that energy away and bringing you down at those very same moments. Never let yourself be a victim. Never tell the victim stories. Always get into hero mode. Tell yourself the heroic story and give yourself the chance to perform at your best.